I wish I could have anyone just one person that is going through exactly what I’m going through without the false pretense of having similarity. One person who has absolutely no one in their life outside of B, desperately craving it when everyone’s turned their back or faded away. Just to understand what it feels to have only yourself as company when you absolutely fucking hate yourself, and have no choice but to remain in its company is the real hell. Everyone gets to have those blessed distractions to escape themselves for even the briefest moment. I have been plagued with this incessant question every single day: when did this start?